Tuesday, January 10, 2006

The start of the end pt.1

One of my best years, maybe in the top ten of my life, was 2004. Lots of reasons, but of the reasons that sticks out is my shrinking belly. One of my toughest ongoing struggles, throughout pretty much my whole life, is my weight. It always has been that way, I really can't think of a time when it wasn't a source of stress, frustration and worry. For years I hated myself, ah, the jr high years and then 2 years into high school, I hit a growth spurt and shot up past 5 feet tall to a whopping 5'4 and in the process lost about 45 pounds.

It was AWESOME. It was the summer before my jr. year and I tried out for soccer and made it and I was working construction with my dad and felt great about myself. I started school and it was so wild. People who never talked to me before were suddenly interested and so was the girl of my dreams...Sue Ripke. Man did I have a crazy thing for her. But, I was always to afraid to tell her I liked her, {insert normal low confidence story of most people}. Anyways, I loved being skinny.

Flip forward a few years, well, the weight came back after high school. Then a few of my relatives were killed in a car accident and the weight came back off. It was 1995 and I weighed somewhere in the 225-235 range, OBESE for my height of 5'4 and how I dealt with the grief of losing 3 relatives, including my grandma, was running. I became friggin Forest Gump. I just started running and not eating, I guess that helped. I think I failed 3 classes that semester, just forgot about them. I was literally running from life. And in the matter of months, Jan-April, I dropped 55 pounds, and I weighed around 180. Wow, I felt great physically, but I knew I was super un-healthy, not eating and when I did eat, I immediately worked out. By the time the summer came around I down to 155, which by the way, is where I should be for my height. But I felt great being skinny again.

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